If you marry a Filipino woman, should you be obligated to support her entire family?

Question

I guess this question probably relates to foreigners who married a Filipina. But I guess there are some rich Filipinos who married someone from a poor family also. Or some of us Fil-Ams that have relatives asking for money.

Anyways, just curious to get some opinions here. If you marry a Filipino woman, should you be obligated to support her entire family?

I know that a lot of Filipino parents expect their kids to support them financially when they are old and that relatives tend to ask for money. However, everyone has their own lives to live. Sure you may have a job but you also have a house payment, car payment, bills, debts, ect. So obviously everyone has their own financial issues. But should one be obligated to give a Filipino woman's family money? Its pretty common for family members and relatives to ask for money and for financial support. But at what point does it become a burden so when is it appropriate to say "yes" or "no".

Answer 1

This is a great question for Foreigners.

BEFORE you get engaged to a Filipina have very clear guidelines that you both agree to (in writing would be best) to due with spending, Church, children and limits for her family. Be very sure her family understand this as well. When you marry a Filipina you marry her family too.

IMO if her Mom and Dad are in need providing a small monthly remittance is the correct thing to do and the husband should willingly give. The amount must be fixed with no exceptions. If Mom or Dad becomes ill then that must be dealt with on a case by case situation.

Extended family members are not my responsibility however maybe I would be willing to help out with educational expenses for exceptional hardworking deserving relatives. Those are my thoughts.

Answer 2

Guys! The only reason a Filipina will marry a foreigner is for money and opportunity. Love is not always the case even though the little brown darlings will look you in the eye and tell you that they love you. Their only real love and priorities are their immediate family. They live by (untang na loob) A culture of owing and obligation to their family. You as a foreigner have absolutely no obligation to support their families. They should learn to catch their own fish or make your wife get a job and support her own family!

Answer 3

Morally, yes; legally, no.



You should know that Filipinos, like many Asian cultures, are quite family-oriented. Are you obligated to show support to the woman's family? Yes. Are you obligated to shoulder all the living expenses of your wife's family? No. I would not suggest giving them money, but I would suggest giving them material support. How often you should do this depends on your ability to give support. Whether this means providing for food and clothing on a regular basis or covering the rent, it should be up to you. Just make sure your in-laws understand that you're not rich. Most people from these parts feel anyone who has USD are rich (mostly because 1USD = roughly 49-50 PHP, which is enough to buy a humble meal here). Say "yes" when you can provide the support, and "no" when this already strains your budget and peace of mind. Hope your wife and her family understands.

Answer 4

i think that it would be considerate of a Filipina's husband to offer some help however, I think that as a couple they should be independent otherwise they may be taken advantage of.



see the mentality i've experienced is that a couple gets married they may rely on the old folks to take care of the children as to avoid child care such as day care or babysitting. it's one of the things that most parents need and cannot always afford.



so in a way it's reciprocating the favor. maybe the grandparents may not demand money, but when they need help its a form of repayment.



also it's a thing that we Filipinos are a tight knit family. meaning that you can depend on anyone for help, advise or any kind of assistance. That's what differs us from Americans.



Being born and raised in America and brought up in a Filipino family, I can tell you all for sure that the dynamics of the ideal "American Family" and "Filipino Family" are very different. In America you see people living alone, taking depression medication, isolating themselves from family functions, moving extremely far away from family, blocking off communication, divorcing like wild fire.....the list can go on and on.

Tell me, how often do you hear of such things in a filipino family? hardly ever.....why? because it's how we all revolve around the whole concept of 'familia". it's something we can't live without.



for us filipinos, when it comes to family, there is no definite no and there is no definite yes. we always try to negotiate to satisfy everyone's needs.



i dont know if i make sense but it's just an expression of how we Filipinos are never alone....and if we were then you must live in America.....

Answer 5

Why to give money to her family?! No. Give money only when they really needed, like bad sickness. A husband is not obliged to support family of her wife, even he is a rich foreigner. But, i think all europeans or americans who marry filipino girls, they are not rich. If somehow by chance he is rich , and he wants to help, then God will bless him if he help. And this not means he is obliged to do it.

Answer 6

Of course not. You're not marrying the entire clan. Helping her family is a choice that one has to make based on his or her own free will but, is certainly not a requirement nor an obligation. If for example it is a must that the wife help her family or extended family, it's something that she must tell and discuss with her husband upfront and of which both must decide on based on their financial capabilities. Supporting family is not a bad thing but it should be based on mutual agreement. Being sneaky sending out money to your relative without the knowledge of your partner is like a thief stealing from your own bank account and I wouldn't recommend that at all.

Answer 7

No.



It is always the filipina wife who calls the shots and the husband, whether filipino or foreigners, had to bow to her say-so. Which doesn't mean the husband doesn't go out of his way to help her family.



It isn't a 1-way street, though. If the wife's family is/are well off, and her husband is in dire financial straits, expect the filipino wife to call the shots too for her family to give help. Winks.

Answer 8

There is NO obligation whatsoever to help the in-laws. It is solely a decision one has to make, either one way or the other.

Having said that, I will ask 'what is wrong with giving help/assistance if one is in the position to do so?'

If we have the cash to spare there is no problem with assisting. We assist with medical and educational expenses as our top priorities and ignore flippant requests for cell phones etc.

Answer 9

Yes to the extent you can. Most of the philipppines is economically depressed. Whether married to a foreigner or not, filipino's and filipina's generally help their parents and siblings if they have a decent job. It is a survival strategy which allows people to enjoy a better standard of living then they would otherwise have as well as recognition of the sacrifices their parents made for them.

I would try not to see it in an adversarial way. See it in this light, of the extremely loyalty, generosity and dedication she is showing, these are likely virtues she will show you too.

Answer 10

If you marry one from a poor family ( which is most likely ) the answer is 95% yes ..

Answer 11

If you don't see that before you marry you are a fool that isn't paying attention. I say no when I can't afford it or think they are just trying to bum. My wife see to it they are taken care of and she is tougher on them than I would be.

Was you planning on saving up and taking it with you?

Answer 12

Yes! didn't your parents support you when you was a baby?

Quit worrying about money so much.

Answer 13

The only reason why a filipina would marry a foreign man is for money and opportunity. It is never for love.

Answer 14

support , no!

help one another, yes!

if they don't give help, favors, why help them?

being a married man and a philantropist are not of the same level

Answer 15

No way, you are not obligated to support them

Answer 16

Should you be obligated? The answer is No.

Answer 17

You marry the woman, you marry the barangay.

Answer 18

This is exactly why I refuse to marry a philippina ! Lol

Answer 19

Let them help themselves.

Answer 20

Why are your questions mostly about filipinas and money?

Answer 21

It's up to you dude !

Answer 22

YES,INCLUDING THEIR NEIGHBOR'S NEIGHBOR.