Question:
Pinoys, what is LESS worse for the emotional development of a child?
Ipis
2010-03-23 02:51:08 UTC
1. Living with divorced parents: Child must live part of the time with one of the parents and both parents have nothing good to say about each other. When the parents see each other, they shout expletives and hurl bitter accusations.

2. Living with parents practising open marriage: Open marirage is defined as a marriage in which the partners agree that each is free to engage in extramarital relationships. Mother sleeps with boyfriend in the house and the father does it too with his girlfriend.

I would like to know the Pinoys' opinion since Pinoys are well known to love and take good care of their children. ( I know that there is no divorce in your country, much less an open marriage. )
Six answers:
annely
2010-03-23 13:08:33 UTC
Both are pretty bad, but if I had to choose which is better, I'd say the first one. Children will, at some point in their lives, come across a situation so heated as to produce sharp tongues and painful words. It makes it that much worse if they hear it from their parents (who are supposed to be their positive role models), but the truth is that they'll hear it eventually. A child that grows up in that environment will probably turn out gossipy, rude and colourful in his/her vocabulary, but that imho is better than the alternative.



A child who grows up in the second kind of environment will grow up with an unhealthy sex life. He/she might become promiscuous, and that itself leads to a lot of bad things: prostitution, STD's, early pregnancy, etc. The child might have difficulty grasping the full concept of life-long commitment, or commitment in general, and that in turn presents a whole slew of other problems. If you can't commit to another person, you'll probably have trouble committing to a bunch of other things. And the worst part about an unhealthy sex life is the absence of love. The child might grow up believing that the initial thrill and the novelty of sex are the only driving factors in a relationship, and that once those two things are gone, that the relationship is not worth continuing. There is nothing worse, imho, than living a life without love because you don't understand the differences between love, lust, infatuation and commitment.



And just to make it clear, these are all rough generalizations. There are many many people in this world who have managed to come out of such experiences as good people with healthy family lives. I hope I do not offend anybody with this. This is just for the sake of argument. K, thanks. :)
anonymous
2010-03-23 15:49:27 UTC
I say the first situation is better. Neither is good for the child or children.



To say that Pinoys are known to take care of their children is not correct from what I understand. Many pinoys, most pinoys do not support their children after they are separated from their spouse. They neglect their children and if they were really caring and responsible father, they would see to it that their children were given all of a fathers support and love even tho apart.
annabelle p
2010-03-23 04:29:17 UTC
Both situations do not help in the development of a child, emotionally and spiritually. There is no option to choose from based on the scenario you created. If the child has living grandparents who are straight and willing to bring him/her up, then have the child live with the grandparents. If none, bring the child to a foster home but only after making doubly sure the environment is healthy and conducive to his/her well-being. Other than these two, I don't know what to advise. :)
Dee ®
2010-03-23 03:26:46 UTC
Both are worse, But I think the first one is the main reason why we have so many rebellious youngsters now in our society... The latter is sound unacceptable as well but very few couple would allow their spouses to sleep with the bf/gf inside their own house in our country...I'm not sure if that's the same in other country tho...

-------^O^-------

I feel sorry for that little child...I really do :( the only hope for those children are their relatives or friends.... what a shame I'm so oblivious about that matter...thanks for letting me know.
?
2010-03-23 07:43:06 UTC
Children whose parents are divorcing have a great deal to be angry about. Don't take comfort that your kids seems to be understanding or adjusting to your divorce without anger. Ive seen many children who seems calm, even cheerful demeanor through divorce are seething inside, and they may later express their anger in destructive ways, like depression (or called "anger turned inward"), substance abuse, or delinquency.
It takes time 2
2010-03-23 03:16:15 UTC
Let the child live with the grandparents, if he still have. If not, then with relatives.


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