which would you prefer:american english, british english or this euro english?

Question

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English" .
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft " c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".
This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united Urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl

Answer 1

farao, zer vil be mor trubl if ve merg Urop viz Asia. Ze languag ov ze gays in Manila vil ovrtak ze languag ov Urop!

Answer 2

American English

Answer 3

Very nice post! Thanks. My classmates (yeah 'am at school right now) are hovering around my laptop all chuckling.



My preferred brand of English is the American version (the one I learned at our schools in the Philippines and the same one I'm using right now here in the states).

Answer 4

for now im learning to understand the "British English" since am currently dealing with my English man. whew!!

Answer 5

hahaha, this should solve the Filipino speech problem on " p " & " f "

Answer 6

American... british english is annoying

Answer 7

I still like the Filipino English .. the Philippines being the 3rd largest English Speakers.



I don't like to pronounce monday as Moon - dai, I'd like to say sip it when I mean zip it or feel when I mean peel or puck when I mean f**k or even boltes payb mean I mean voltes five.



one... two... three....pour ...payb... whew!





Filipino English .... the best!

Answer 8

funny stuff but i personally prefer american english because i've lived in different states in the US and everywhere i go, it's like people have different accents. grew up in california, lived in texas for a while, midwesterns talk a bit slooow, new york accent is different, and now i'm in the south...it's like being in completely different countries when you meet americans from different parts of this country. it's amusing!

Answer 9

I prefer American English because it is what I am used to. Speaking British English would be really cool though. Nothing wrong with that. Euro English is ok as well.

Answer 10

I say American English. That seems so ridiculous to me. Why complicate things so much? Pretty soon nobody is gonna understand what anybody is trying to say.

Answer 11

Nicely done, pharaoh. I've always wanted to learn German but didn't know you can't get there without passing through American, British and Euro-English.



BTW, the guy who said the British term for apartment is lift was wrong. Lift is British for elevator, flat is for apartment.

So, apartment for rent in US would be flat for let in Britain.



I'll stick with American English. It's been a part of me since grade school and not so easy to dislodge. However, there were stories recently about academics wanting to simplify the American English although the scope of the proposed changes was much narrower. They will pick only a few words that seem impossible to pronounce even to the best-educated population. Examples of such words: phthalates, ptomaine

Answer 12

British English- at least the words are spelt correctly.

I hope that the Euro-English is a joke otherwise it will be next to impossible to understand anyone after 5 years.



Lord Pharoh, slight problem here:

it's apartment in US and flat in UK

it's elevator in US and lift in UK

Answer 13

British English! Could you imagine going to see a Shakespeare play in American English, or other.

Answer 14

British ENGLISH

Answer 15

wow then English will be more similar to Macedonian or should i say vau den inglish vil bi mor similar tu masedonian hehe

Answer 16

There is only one English language in the world, there is no such thing as American, or Euro English, no matter how much you believe there is or how many jokes like that one make the rounds.

Answer 17

I like British English. But really, that was funny.

Answer 18

That looks like some text messages I receive in Taglish.

Answer 19

this is funny but i can't help it but make a little correction with your little add-on in the end with the British and AMerican English terms:



1. lift (UK) = elevator (US)

2. flat (UK) = apartment (US)

Answer 20

I prefer British English (obviously) but that's funny!!

Answer 21

None of those, I prefer Canadian English

Answer 22

pinoy english.

Answer 23

Heard that before and it is excellent!

Answer 24

LMAO! this is so funny! where'd you get all of these?!!

Answer 25

that was hilarious!